Cross Your Heart 2
by TheaJ1
Summary: Sequel to "Cross Your Heart". Bella and Edward's daughter learns what it means to have a family. Living with vampires is never easy and a trip to Seattle with her friend changes everything…
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Originally, **I didn't plan on writing a sequel for "Cross Your Heart", but a friend of mine asked me to, and here it is, the very first chapter. For those of you who haven't read "Cross Your Heart" and who'd rather plunge into the sequel right away (even though "Cross Your Heart" isn't that long) a brief summary: Edward left Bella after her disastrous birthday party but not without sleeping with her first. Ten years after that their daughter comes across a strange scent and learns that she has a family after all. Here's how Gemma (that's what I call her, because in my version of the story Bella believed she'd have a boy, so the name Renesmee never came up; but it's still the same person) deals with having a family and enters a life she never thought she'd have.

I hope you enjoy it

**Disclaimer: **The Twilight Saga and all its characters, places etc. are property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm only borrowing.

CROSS YOUR HEART II

1

I'd never liked school.

If asked, every single teenager in the United States would probably say the same, but—if asked again, this time for their reasons—they'd probably answer something along the lines of "I hate getting up early!" or "I hate studying!" maybe even "I don't think that anybody likes me!". Nobody had ever asked me why I didn't like school, not even Alice. If she'd bothered to ask, however, my answer would have been "I'm a vampire-human hybrid. I. _Don't_. Fit. In. Never have!". I might have added that I'd been to seventeen different schools in two different states in less than five years and was tired of being the new girl, but the first … said it all.

I'd never fit in anywhere. I'd been the odd one out at home, the foster child nobody really wanted to have, and I'd been the odd one out at every single school I ever attended. I wasn't an outsider, no, for even an outsider was part of a school's community, had always another outside he could befriend.

I was an outcast. Well, leper might be the better word here. It wasn't because of something I'd done (or hadn't done), because of something I could change. It was because of what I was.

People didn't know what I was, of course. How would they? And even if I told them, they'd never believe me, because I couldn't possibly exist. I was a myth. I wasn't real. But I was, and people noticed, if only subconsciously, that I was different, noticed that I wasn't quite like them, and so they shied away from me. Needless to say, I'd never made any friends.

I didn't expect that to change. After all, I'd be going to school with my _father_, and he'd certainly make sure that I didn't hang out with the wrong people. Well, I didn't intend to hang out with _anyone_, because I didn't plan on going back to school tomorrow or, for that matter, the days and weeks and months after that. Alice didn't know that yet because her visions of the future didn't include me (for which I was very grateful, because I was free to make decisions without anyone judging me the second I made them), but she'd have to accept my decision.

I snorted as I slowly hiked up the slope towards my family's house. I'd finally agreed to give it a try (as if I didn't already know what it would be like…) only because I was sick of her bringing up this particular subject every time we met. Esme and Carlisle, and my father, of course, had been ecstatic, because they believed (they'd never said so, but I wasn't stupid) that living in a tree and spending most of my days alone wasn't good for me. They thought I should socialise.

I snorted again. As if they went to school to socialise. They did it because it was normal, because it was human. I, on the other hand, had no intentions of even pretending to be human, because I wasn't. I didn't want to have to pretend to be something I was not ever again. I was happy with the way things were. I didn't want to change anything.

My family wasn't. They thought they knew what was good for me even though they didn't even know me, because three weeks weren't nearly enough time to get to know someone. They'd wanted me to move in with them, too, but I'd put my foot down on that one. I didn't need a family (I'd never had one, after all, and I could fend for myself), and that's what they kept forgetting. I'd once told them that I could, and would, walk away if they didn't give me the space I needed, but they hadn't believed me. For them family was everything. For me, however, who'd never had a real family before, who'd been passed from foster family to foster family, it wasn't. I'd learnt the hard way that I was better off alone, and while I knew, intellectually at least, that I could trust them, could trust my father, it was hard.

And them trying to talk me into doing things I didn't want to do (period), didn't exactly help.

Alice was waiting for me as I stepped out of the trees. It was still very early, and while a faint line of golden light was already visible on horizon and the stars (what I'd been able to see of them anyway; the sky had been overcast for days) had taken their leave, the sun hadn't deigned to rise yet and wouldn't for at least another hour.

I ground my teeth together to stifle a yawn. I was used to getting up early, but not this early, and I had trouble keeping my eyes open. Alice hadn't told me why she wanted me to swing by their house almost two hours before we actually had to leave for school, but—as I said—I wasn't stupid.

"Hi," she said as I approached, smiling brightly.

I didn't feel like smiling at all, so I just gave a noncommittal grunt Alice was free to interpret however she liked.

"Let's get you ready," she went on, confirming my suspicions, and whisked me inside and upstairs into her bathroom, which I'd quickly come to dread. I'd never been very girly. I'd told her so many, many, _many_ times, but it didn't stop her from trying to change that. As I didn't want to disappoint her (being part of a family also meant making concessions now and then), I let her get away with smaller things—I'd let her cut my hair, which had needed cutting anyway, only last week. Alice being Alice, however, it wasn't enough, and she wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Nothing I did and nothing I agreed to seemed to be good enough. I didn't know if that was because they were incapable of understanding the reasons behind my decisions or because they simply refused to accept them. Probably both.

It was a pain in the ass in any case.

"I've already picked something out," Alice announced as I followed her into her bathroom, which was brightly lit, not so much for her benefit as for mine because my eyesight was poorer than hers. I stared at the clothes she'd laid out on the rug in front of the bathtub, then at what I was wearing, a pair of faded blue jeans and a white button-down shirt that could use a round in the washer though I seriously doubted that the bloodstains would ever come out. Granted, the clothes Alice had bought were fancier than every single piece I owned. Fancier and not my style at all.

Raising an eyebrow and putting my hands on my hips, I turned. Alice smiled back at me innocently and, when that didn't work (which it never had so far), did her best impression of a Labrador puppy begging for a treat.

"No," I said flatly. "Pick something else or I'm not coming." I sat down on the edge of the bathtub with an air of finality and my arms in front of my chest. Alice tilted her head, moving from puppy dog to vampire chick trying to lure in a victim as she unleashed the full force of her golden, smouldering eyes on me.

I glared back at her. Alice was nothing if not persistent, but even she should have realised by now that dazzling me didn't work.

"Fine," she huffed eventually. "I'll see what I can do."

Alice busy rummaging in Carlisle and Esme's room across the hall, I started combing out my hair which was knotted, even matted in some places. It was a tedious process, and it made me wish—as it always did—that I had straight hair instead of curls, a cardinal sin as far as Alice was concerned.

"I heard you're coming with us today," Jasper said. I turned to find him standing in the doorway, a slight smile on his lips.

"Yeah, I guess I am," I replied, yanking the comb through another strand and dislodging a fistful of hair as I did. Shit. I quickly dropped it in the basin and turned on the water. Alice would kill me.

Jasper chuckled quietly.

Alice returned with a clean pair of jeans, a grey shirt with short sleeves and a long black cardigan and dropped them in front of my feet with a martyred expression. "At least put on the underwear I got you," she muttered, starting to collect the clothes I had rejected, and Jasper suddenly remembered that he'd forgotten to complete an assignment.

Assignment, my ass. I snorted as I dropped the comb, my hair finally knot-free, and stripped off my clothes before Alice had the chance to offer me some privacy. I'd quickly found out how inhibited they all were. It wasn't that I was exhibitionistic by nature—I just didn't care who saw me naked. If not for the fact that it was plain uncomfortable sometimes and could get really, really weird when a human saw you, I'd probably run around in the buff more often.

A quick shower and a heavy load of expensive conditioner later I put on the underwear Alice held out to me (very feminine and way too cute for my taste), then Esme's clothes and the pair of sneakers I wore whenever I visited them at the house. I preferred walking barefoot, but I still put them on. At least they were practically unworn.

I let Alice have her way with my hair to cheer her up, and when we emerged from her bathroom half an our later, my hair straight for once (and two full inches longer) and my lashes strangely heavy with the mascara Alice had insisted on putting on, we were ready for school.

It was still dark outside, the sun just creeping up on the horizon. _I could have slept almost an hour longer_, I thought glumly. I wasn't used to getting up at a specific time, and it was just weird to have a digital alarm clock tucked in between the branches of my tree. When it went off this morning, the birds that slept on the higher, thinner branches where they knew they were safe from me had taken off screaming, and I'd nearly fallen out of the tree myself.

Alice had thought of everything. I found a bag and a matching purse (with a shiny credit card, a driver's license and at least a hundred dollars cash inside) waiting for me on the coffee table in the living-room, both looking expensive. I'd gotten used to Alice spending money on me by now, though, so I didn't mind. I just hoped she didn't expect anything in return.

"Excited?" she asked, grinning.

_You wish_, I thought, and said, "Yeah, a little." I flopped on the couch and closed my eyes, trying to doze off until it was time to leave.

"You'll love school," Alice went on.

I gave a noncommittal grunt, pretty sure I'd hate school just as much as I always had. I could have shown her what it had been like, could have let her in on my memories, memories I wasn't able to forget because my mind didn't know how, but I didn't. I still hadn't told them about my gift, and I never even thought about it when my father was around. I hadn't had a single solitary hunting trip since I told them that I needed to hunt, too. Alice and Edward were always with me now, sometimes Emmett (who kept giving me pointers on how to perfect my hunting technique), and I was sick of it. I needed to be alone, wasn't used to being part of a family, but they didn't understand, didn't understand my need for privacy. At night, too, one of them was always there, watching over me, which was just plain ridiculous. I knew, of course, whose brilliant idea _that_ had been.

My father had serious control issues.

A soft chuckle told me I was right. _I told you to stay out of my head_, I thought and opened my eyes just a little like a lazy cat to find him leaning casually against his piano, watching as I tried to ignore Alice. It was working pretty well so far. I had no clue what she was talking about. A_nd I told you to leave me alone_, I added. _I could use some alone time_. I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see his response to my … request. He probably didn't give a damn about it, anyway.

"It's time to go," Alice chirped, jerking me awake. I realised, not without surprise, that I'd managed to fall asleep again after all. "You're riding with me."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here's the second chapter. I hope you have enjoyed the first one. If so, please let me know! I quite like Gemma/Renesmee because she is so different than all the other Cullens and doesn't seem to fit into their family at first glance. It makes writing from her POV a lot of fun! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** The Twilight Saga is property of Stephenie Meyer. I am only borrowing.

2

I didn't fully regain consciousness until we were in Alice's little Audi and on our way to school. I stifled a sigh as the trees gave way to the city, hoping the day would be over soon. _At least_, I thought, smiling a little, _there's a bright side. I'll get out from under Edward and Alice's thumb for at least six hours_. There was just no way I could pass for sixteen or seventeen. Physically—and mentally, too, though my family seemed to find it difficult to believe that—I was in my early twenties (which, incidentally, was the reason I had a bit of a problem thinking of Edward as my _father_), so I'd be in a grade with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, who, aside from Emmett, usually left me alone. I was to pretend to be Edward's older sister (ha ha) because of the resemblance between us. People wouldn't ask too many questions that way.

At school, a large brick-red building four storeys high, Alice and Edward accompanied me to the administration office, which was located right beside the main entrance. I got a timetable (great, physics _and_ biology…) and a slip for each teacher to sign. Alice made a face and Edward didn't look too happy, either, when I let them take a look at my timetable.

I didn't have a single class with Rosalie, Emmett or Jasper, which was just fine with me.

I shrugged and stuffed it into my new bag. "It's no big deal," I said once we were outside in the crowded hallway. "I've been to school before, and I'm sure it's going to be just as boring and uneventful as I remember it. Nothing I can't handle." That last part wasn't entirely true, but they didn't need to know that, and Edward didn't seem to pick up on it.

You had to thank God for small favours.

"I'm late for class and, by the way, so are you," I told them and stalked off before they could stop me. I did look over my shoulder, though, just before I entered the physics lab only a few doors down. My father didn't look happy at all.

I grinned as I slipped into the only free seat after the teacher had signed my slip, and put the battered copy of the text book he'd given me on the table. It wasn't very difficult to ignore the curious glances of the students seated directly beside and in front of me. I was good at that kind of thing, and they'd learn to keep their distance soon enough.

Well, only if I actually returned tomorrow, that is, which I wouldn't.

I enjoyed class about as much as I had the last time I was at school. It wasn't that I didn't understand physics—I did, my mind's capacity being as vast as it was. I just didn't find it particularly entertaining.

I managed to avoid talking to any of the other students until it was time for lunch. Entering the cafeteria, a bright room with posters on the walls and green linoleum floor, I found my family sitting at one of the round tables, waiting for me. I walked over and dropped my bag beside the chair they'd saved for me, then went to fetch a tray before they had a chance to ask me how my morning had been. The food they sold smelled just about as appetising as it looked—which was not at all—but I got under Emmett's skin when I ate actual food, and if that's what it took to pay him back for getting on my nerves when I was hunting, then that's what I'd do.

Back at the table, I began to tuck in, trying not to taste it (yak!) as it slid down my throat. I felt it descend into my stomach, where it turned into stone. At least that's what it felt like. My digestive tract didn't seem to be equipped to be dealing with solid food, so I got constipated every time I ate some. Still, grossing Emmett out was so worth it.

"How has your day been so far?" Edward asked, smiling just a little. He knew, of course, why I was eating, but I was surprised he seemed to find it amusing.

"OK, I guess," I answered, and his smile grew.

"You really don't want to be here, do you?"

"No." I swallowed another forkful of lasagne. Emmett grimaced in disgust, and Rosalie rolled her eyes first at him, then at me. Yes, it was childish, but then so was he.

Alice just sighed, though I wasn't sure if it was in response to Emmett's grimace or to what I'd said.

"Look," I put the fork aside and gulped down half a glass of water to wash the disgusting taste and the sticky feeling in my throat away, "I went to school before, a lot of schools in fact, and I didn't exactly enjoy it." I sighed, involuntarily remembering my very last day at school, which had also been my very last day among humans. I didn't dislike biology because I thought it was boring, I didn't like it because the last time I was in a biology class I'd almost killed someone.

Edward's eyes narrowed, and I quickly wiped the memory of me going straight for my lab partner's jugular from my mind.

"Sorry," I muttered, draining the glass. I felt Alice's eyes on me, but I didn't look at her as I picked up my bag and grabbed the tray. "I'll see you later, guys."

"Gemma."

I turned, forcing my face to relax. "Yes?"

"How…" Edward began, unsure how to phrase the question he wanted to ask. "How'd it turn out?"

"Fine," I said, smiling even though I didn't feel like smiling at all. I had a feeling that it would have been better if I hadn't dredged up that particular memory, if I'd just let it stay buried. "Just fine."

—

I was early. Leaning against the wall and waiting for the teacher to show up, I tried to tune out the noises and the smells (and there were a lot of them, which was another reason I tended to avoid public places) by remembering the quiet of the forest and the scent of pine and dry earth.

Just a few more hours.

"Hi," someone said.

I opened my eyes. The girl who'd addressed me was standing right in front of me, eyeing me curiously. She was pretty, soft brown hairs, dark skin (Native American, I thought) and glossy black hair that just touched her shoulders.

"Hi," I replied, hoping she'd just go away.

She didn't. "You're new, right?" she asked, smiling. It was a friendly smile, the kind of smile I didn't get very often. "You sat with the Cullens at lunch." It was a statement, not a question, and I thought her voice was slightly awed.

Yeah, well, I'd gotten the impression that my family hadn't made too many friends around here. So much for socialising.

"Yes, I'm Gemma Cullen." I found myself smiling back at her. "Edward's older sister."

"I'm Lily," the girl replied. "Well, actually my name's Liluye, which means something along the lines of 'singing chicken hawk that soars'."

I grinned. "You're kidding, right?"

"Afraid not." A grin spread over Lily's face as well. "Embarrassing, isn't it? I have no idea what my parents were thinking. Anyway, we moved down here from Washington—State, not D.C.—only last year, so I know how it feels to be new."

Lily was easy to talk to. I was given the seat next to her, and she shared her book with me. We talked quietly through the entire lesson, and I surprised her by answering the teacher's question correctly even though I wasn't paying very close attention, but hey, my mind worked in mysterious ways.

"Will I see you in French tomorrow?" Lily asked as we left. "I have Physics now."

"I think so," I said, smiling. Lily left, and I went to find the classroom I had English in next. For someone who wasn't used to dealing with humans I was doing pretty well. Maybe I'd go to school again tomorrow after all.

Alice and Edward were waiting for me in front of the classroom, and the look on their faces, almost identical masks of worry, wiped the smile off my face. What now?

"I was thinking," Alice said, grabbing my arm to pull me closer, "that maybe we should try to have your timetable rearranged, make sure one of us is always with us in case…" She glanced at Edward, and I knew he'd told her what I had accidentally let slip at lunch.

Wonderful.

"In case what, Alice?" I asked frostily. "In case I jump someone again? FYI, it only happened once and that was before I knew what I was. Besides, that's exactly why I decided to live in the forest in the forest in the first place. _You_ wanted me to go to school, Alice." I shot a glare at Edward. "I'm so sick of you telling me what's best for me," I hissed, yanking my arm out of Alice's grip, and rushed into the classroom.

Who did they think they are? I thought furiously as I slumped into one of the two free seats, both right up front. Mr Morgan—I thought that was his name, anyway—frowned at me, but when I plastered a smile on my face and opened the textbook he'd given me on the page he'd written on the blackboard, he lost interest in me.

I wasn't a child, hadn't _been_ a child in a very long time. I was an adult, and I wanted to be treated accordingly. _You got this?_ I asked, knowing Edward was listening in on my thoughts because he always was (control issues, remember?), another reason I didn't spend too much time at the house. My family had gotten used to it, that lack or privacy, but I hadn't, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. I was afraid I'd lose too much of myself in the process.

—

Did you like it? Edward is quite the overprotective mother—and Alice even more so—but I suppose that is only to be expected, considering he has already lost Bella and doesn't want to lose his daughter, too, the only part of Bella he still has. Do you think that is selfish of him? Or would you do exactly the same if you were him?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** The next chapter! Thanks to Bella1224 for adding CYH2 to her Favourite Stories List, and to smileyface209 for adding CHY2 to her Story Alert List!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own The Twilight Saga, I am just burrowing!

3

Alice and I didn't exchange a single word on the way home, a wise decision on her part since my mood hadn't improved one bit. If she didn't back off, well, then I wouldn't go back to school tomorrow. I wanted to because I'd enjoyed talking to Lily, had found it strangely … satisfying, maybe because I'd never talked about, well, normal stuff with someone. I'd let her do all the talking (I didn't have much of a backstory yet, aside from being Edward's older sister and having been to boarding school before his family had tracked me down), and she'd told me all about moving down from Seattle, her family and her hobbies. I'd been surprised when I realised that I'd actually miss her, but if staying away from other people was what it'd take to get Alice—and the rest of my family for that matter—off my back, then that's what I'd do.

I didn't think that any of them knew or could even guess how far I was willing to go in order to keep them from controlling my life, to keep them from trying to make me give up who I was. I'd leave them, because I'd never had a family before, because blood didn't make a family, because I didn't need them as much as the thought I did, because I didn't trust them. I'd learned to like them, even Rosalie, who never spoke to me more than was absolutely necessary even though she'd warmed up towards me a little, but I didn't trust them. Trust didn't come easy for me, never had, and so far they'd done nothing to earn it.

It was a good thing that Edward wasn't around to hear this. He would have told his family, because they didn't keep secrets, another thing they expected me to accept. It wasn't very hard to imagine how they'd react if they learned my innermost thoughts, the kind I always kept hidden when my father was around. He'd once told me that he hadn't been able to read my mother's thoughts, and I wished I'd inherited that trait. I never knew when he was listening in and when he was not, and always keeping my guard up was very tiresome, but there were things about me, secrets, I wasn't willing to share just yet.

I was beyond glad when Alice finally pulled up in front of the house, gravel crunching underneath the car's tyres as it skidded to a halt; Alice's driving took some getting used to. Thankfully, I didn't get sick easily. I got out of the car without a word, slamming the door shut behind me for good measure and having the satisfaction of Alice yelling, "Don't slam the damn door!", and stomped inside where, of course, Esme was waiting. I forced my lips into a smile. Esme had always been kind to me, and she didn't deserve me snapping at her just because Alice and Edward had gotten under my skin.

"How was school?" she asked, honest curiosity in her voice. In contrast to Alice, Edward and Carlisle, who'd rallied up in order to talk me into going to school, Esme had taken my side when I told them that I didn't really want to. I was grateful she had. Besides, I'd never had a grandmother, and while Esme was barely older than me, at least physically, I was getting used to the concept.

"Fine, actually," I replied as I slipped out of my shoes and dumped my bag beside the door. "I made a friend, I think."

Esme smiled. "That's nice. Will you be going back tomorrow, then?"

I shrugged. "Depends." I glanced up as Alice opened the door, glared at me and brushed past me to go upstairs to do whatever she usually did after school. I didn't care, and when Esme frowned at me I shrugged again. "Alice's gotten it into her head that I need supervision. Well, I understand why she might think that, but I don't."

Esme's frown deepened. "What happened?"

I sighed, frustrated. "Nothing happened, not today anyway. It's just a memory Edward picked out of my head, and he didn't even catch it all. It's just…" I sighed again, more of a growl, really. I needed to get out of here, preferably before my father and the rest of my family showed up. I wasn't in the mood for another lecture.

"Have you ever been to the cinema?" Esme asked suddenly, the apparent non-sequitur puzzling me.

"No," I replied. "The foster families I got sent to usually didn't have any money to spare for that kind of thing."

"Why don't we go out tonight, then?" Esme suggested, smiling in an almost conspiratorial way. "Just the two of us. No Edward, no Alice," she raised her voice just a little, a mother giving her daughter an order she expected to be followed and passed on to her siblings, "no Emmett."

"That's a great idea." I smiled back at her. It was, actually. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Esme, because Edward and Alice were always around me, and if they weren't, then there was Carlisle, who came up with a new medical question almost every day and who kept insisting that maybe a certain degree of supervision where I was concerned wouldn't be a bad idea. That, of course, didn't exactly endear him to me even though I respected him.

"Then let's go." Esme grinned. "And maybe you can tell me what makes Alice think you need to be looked after on the way." I had expected her to say that, but I didn't mind as much as I would have if Carlisle had asked me the same thing.

"Alright." I grinned back at her as I quickly put my shoes back on while Esme went to retrieve her purse from her bedroom. Alice came sauntering down the stairs, having changed into a different outfit, and threw a leather jacket at me.

"Here," she said frostily, disappearing into the living-room before I had a chance to thank her. I rolled my eyes. Typical of her, being angry even though she had no right to, acting as if I'd disappointed her in some way. Unfortunately—for Alice—emotional blackmail didn't work on me.

Esme returned a second later, and we got into Alice's Audi, Esme being the only member of my family, aside from me, who didn't have her own car. "I don't really need one," she said when I asked her, "and when I do, then I usually take Carlisle's Mercedes. I like speed. I haven't met a vampire who doesn't, but I prefer running over driving."

"Yeah, me too." I smiled.

We didn't speak until we were up on the main road, but it was a comfortable silence, not the kind that was so charged with tension that it was only a matter of time until its participants started yelling at each other. We passed the Volvo on the way to town. Edward waved at Esme and me, smiling. I scowled back at him, but his smile didn't waver.

Esme shot me a sideway glance, smiling fondly. "He just wants to protect you," she said. "That's why he's acting the way he's acting. He's already lost your mother. He doesn't want to lose you, too."

"I get that," I said, frowning, "but I don't need to be protected. I can defend myself as well as any of you guys. I wish he'd accept that. I wish they'd all accept that."

"Well, this is new for us, having a family member that's actually alive. It'll take us a time to adjust, and vampires don't change their habits easily. Edward was always very protective of your mother."

"Yeah, I got that from what she told me," I sighed, leaning back into the seat. I saw Esme glance at me again (I rarely spoke or thought about my mother for the same reason my father never spoke about her), but she didn't ask. "But I'm not my mother," I'm continued. "I'm not human. I can take care of myself. Granted, I'd probably lose against a vampire, but there aren't that many around."

"Well," Esme said again, then fell silent. I had a pretty good idea what she'd been about to say before she'd cut herself off. They'd finally told me why Edward had wanted to go to Italy when he found out that my mother was dead. The Volturi, for all intents and purposes the rulers, the kings of our world. I knew that if they ever found out that someone like me insisted, they were likely to come to investigate and I was _un_likely to survive that encounter if I didn't manage to convince them that I wasn't a danger to them, that I wouldn't expose them. I didn't worry about that too much; I'd cross that bridge when I came to it because that's what I did. But I knew my family was worried about that possibility, especially since Alice couldn't see my future and didn't know what it held, and that was part of the reason they were so intent on protecting me. I'd told them a thousand times that I knew that I mustn't draw attention to myself, had always known that, and yet they didn't seem to believe my assurances that I was fine, that I didn't need them to look our for me.

"Yes, I know. Still, I'd appreciate it if they gave me some space. I feel like I'm suffocating." I sighed. How would Esme react when I told her that I'd almost killed a girl once? Would she share Alice and Edward's opinion? Then again, it wasn't as if it could get any worse, so there was probably no harm in telling her. "Anyway, are you still interested in what Edward saw this morning?"

"Yes, of course."

"Alright." I drew a deep breath. "About five years ago I almost killed a girl. We were blood-typing, and when the girl next to me pricked her finger it was… I can't describe it. It wasn't just mouthwatering, it was intoxicating and I couldn't resist." That wasn't a very accurate description of what I'd felt that day, what the blood of her scent had done to me, but there was no need to torture me by dredging up that memory once more. "I went straight for her jugular. I drove her out of her seat and into the wall. I felt her bones crack and shatter under my grip. She was too stunned to even whimper, but when the rest of the class started screaming… I didn't know how I did it, how I managed to stop when I realised what I was doing, but I did it. I took off before they could stop me, not that they'd tried, and that was the last day I spent among humans."

"I can see why that would worry Edward," Esme said quietly.

"So do I, but that was five years ago, before I even knew what I was. My control's gotten a lot better since then. Unfortunately, I doubt that Edward will believe me. Nobody believes anything I say," I muttered, glaring down into my lap. "I'm not a child, Esme."

"I know you're not." She sighed. "That's what I keep telling Carlisle."

"Doesn't seem to be doing much good. Sorry," I added hastily when I realised that that had come out wrong, "I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I'm grateful that you're trying to help me."

Esme laughed. "Don't worry. I'll talk to Edward and Alice when we get home. We'll get it into their heads somehow."

"You don't think that I need supervision?" I didn't even bother to try and keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"No, I don't." She sighed. "We've all fallen off the wagon at some point. Well, Carlisle hasn't," her lips curved into a fond smile, "but he's a saint. Anyway, I believe you when you say that you can control your thirst. You're a better judge of that than any of us. I'll talk to them, I promise."

"Thanks, Esme," I replied, briefly touching her arm, something I almost never did, and she, knowing that, smiled back as if she'd just won the lottery.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I'm so thrilled I finally received reviews for Cross Your Heart 2. Thank you so much twilight1alice and Edward's-Team-You-Go-Girl for reviewing. You have no idea how happy you made me.

I realise that CYH 2 is different from most Renesmee-centred stories out there, but as my Renesmee/Gemma grew up alone and without someone to guide her, it's only natural that she's developed differently than she probably would have, had she been with her family.

Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

By the way, CYH 1 has a banner now made by **Mehek18**! Check out my profile!

**Disclaimer:** The Twilight Saga is property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm only borrowing.

4

The evening was fun. I'd never gone out before. As I'd told Esme, the foster families that had taken me in had either been unable to afford that kind of thing or had been too miserly to. And then of course I had always tended to avoid public places as a general rule, even before I had truly known why; I'd been acting on instinct. Tonight, however, I was enjoying myself. Parking the car in one of the suburbs instead of trying to find a parking spot closer to downtown, we slowly walked to the cinema. Esme told me about herself, about how she'd met Carlisle, which wasn't exactly what you'd call a happy story, but she never even once asked me something about myself, and I was grateful that she didn't.

I did tell her a few things, though. I'd told her how I'd once broken a burglar's leg with a well-aimed kick at his shin, which had gotten me sent to yet another family, my foster parents, instead of being grateful that I'd saved them a lot of money, having decided that if I was able to break a grown man's leg, I was also able to break their own children's necks. I'd never have done such a thing, but I'd known that nobody would have believed my reassurances, because I'd been nine at the time (physically, not in actual years; in actual years I'd been two) and no nine-year-old should have been that strong.

Esme was outraged by how I'd been treated, her lovely features twisted with fury, and I had to distract her by telling her how my age had always been a cause for problems, at least as far as the foster system was concerned. I'd always found that quite amusing. I was two years old, at least according to my file, yet I looked like I was nine. A family would expect to get a four-year-old, but the kid showing up was a teenager instead. They'd never figured it out, though. A computer error, that's what they'd always said. A typical human reaction to something they couldn't and didn't want to understand.

The movie we chose eventually was a comedy, and while it wasn't as funny as the title suggested, it was quite an experience, at least for me. This was another aspect of human life I could get used to. We went home after that, not because I wanted to but because I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open even though it wasn't even past nine yet. However, as I'd gotten up so early and didn't go to bed that late to begin with, it didn't really surprise me.

"Are you going hunting later?" Esme asked as we drove through the darkness that wasn't so dark for either of us.

"Yeah, I have to," I said, yawning. "I have to feed more often than you do. If I skip a meal, I get cranky. I'm not a very nice person when I'm cranky."

"Neither of us is," Esme replied, eyes twinkling.

I felt my lips stretch into a grin. "I can imagine. Do you think they'll leave me alone? It's driving me crazy that I haven't had a single moment to myself for three weeks. I have no idea why it's so hard to understand that I need to be alone sometimes."

"I don't know," Esme said, frowning in thought. We turned left, slowly rattling down the narrow path leading to the house. "We've all gotten so used to Edward being inside our minds all the time that it seems pointless. And then of course our senses are so much keener. Having a private conversation is difficult, and we don't keep many secrets to begin with what with Edward and Alice's gifts."

"Yes, I got that." I sighed a little. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that lack of privacy, and, really, I'm not sure that I want to."

"I understand that." Esme smiled sympathetically. "I wouldn't have moved in with us if I were you, either, at least not as long Alice and Edward keep going out of their way to make sure you're never alone. I'd love to have you closer, but I understand completely why you don't want to be."

"Thanks." I breathed a sigh of relief. "For not being disappointed, I mean. Alice keeps bringing it up and whenever she does she looks as if she'll start crying any minute. I hope she'll realise soon that emotional blackmail doesn't work on me."

Esme sighed, but didn't comment on it. She knew her children after all. "I'll talk to them," she repeated after a while.

"I'd really appreciate that."

xxx

Esme dropped me off just at the edge of the forest, having assured me that she didn't mind if I ruined the clothes Alice had borrowed from her, and I waved at her before I disappeared into the trees. I didn't want to return to the house tonight, not even to change. Besides, I still had a spare shirt tucked away somewhere, so I'd change into that and at least save Esme's shirt and cardigan.

Slowly walking through the night and inhaling the familiar scents of the forest, it felt like I had been gone forever. This was my home, this was where I felt safe. I'd never give that up, for nobody. I heard animals scurrying through the bushes, the occasional cry of an owl. The forest was never really asleep, and I loved that about it.

I was tired enough that I was tempted to skip dinner, but as I'd told Esme that wasn't a very good idea if I was to go to school again tomorrow, so I tracked down the herd of deer I'd already decimated to an extent that would make it necessary to change my hunting grounds soon. It wasn't a very neat kill, me being so tired that I nearly tripped over my own feet as I leapt onto the unsuspecting deer's back, which caused it to struggle and cry out in panic before I managed to snap its neck. I spared a second to make sure that I was truly alone, but the air gave nothing away, so even if someone had followed me (and I hoped Esme had them all still wrapped up in that conversation she'd promised to have with them) at least I didn't notice.

I bathed in the river afterwards, the cold water splashing soothingly against my skin as I lay stretched out in the river bed, absentmindedly moving the shirt that I'd worn for dinner about, even though there wasn't much hope that so much blood would come out. I caught a star or two, the clouds having finally disappeared, and even the moon deigned to grace me with its presence after a while. It was peaceful, relaxing even, and it gave me time to think, for once alone.

I still hadn't decided if I'd go back to school tomorrow. As I'd told Esme, that would depend largely on what Edward and Alice decided, and if they tried to rearrange my timetable so they could keep an eye on me, well, then I'd stay here. School itself hadn't been as horrible as I'd expected it to be, but maybe that was because I was part of the Cullen family, and nobody in his right mind would ever bully one of them like they'd bully a kid in foster care with clothes that didn't really fit. The teachers hadn't been unfriendly, either, probably because of the same reason, and then, of course, I'd already seemed to have made a friend. I smiled a little at the thought. She hadn't been afraid of me, hadn't shied away like so many other people almost always that. Maybe she didn't sense that I was different, and maybe she did and just didn't care. Either way, I wanted to see her again, and that desire surprised me, because I'd always been a loner and I tried to get away from my family whenever I could. But maybe that was because they were my family, because they were vampires and Lily was, well, neither. She was normal, and maybe I needed something normal in my life.

I'll decide tomorrow morning, I decided eventually and climbed out of the river, dripping. I slipped back into Esme's jeans and pulled her shirt, which I'd stashed by the river before I'd gone looking for dinner, over my head, then wrung out my hair and tied it together with a piece of my hunting shirt that was ruined beyond repair anyway. I made it home in less than two minutes, having not ventured too far off, and was glad to find that nobody had been in the clearing since I'd picked up my shirt earlier. I hung the remains of the shirt over a branch to dry, then settled underneath the blanket and pushed the pillow into shape. Esme had insisted on both, and I hadn't argued with her, because she'd meant well. My few possessions were now stashed away in a wooden case mounted to the trunk just beside my head to keep them from getting wet. I yawned as I lay down, arms folded underneath my head. I could already feel sleep reaching out for me, and just as I was about to be lost in blissful darkness, the wind, more of a breeze, really, shifted, and it was carrying a familiar scent. Even though I was already half asleep, I rolled my eyes.

My father was watching over me.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** While cleaning my hard drive I found this chapter of CYH2 and realised I hadn't posted it yet. I must have finished it months ago. CHY2 is on the top of my list of stories to finish after I'm done with Lifelines and I hope I won't have to keep you waiting for too long. Thanks to everyone who added me or my story to their favourite lists. I appreciate it!

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** The Twilight Saga is property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm only burrowing.

5

"Jesus Christ!" I came to full awareness instantly, waking so suddenly that I'd jerked upright. If Edward hadn't leapt out of the way in time, I'd have smacked my head against his shoulder. "What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and glaring at him simultaneously for scaring me like that.

Edward, who'd settled onto the thick branch just beside the one I slept on, had at least the decency to look abashed. I didn't think he'd meant for me to catch him doing whatever he'd been doing and his sheepish smile told me I was right. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you were asleep."

"Yeah, well, I was up until a minute ago," I replied, yawning even though I didn't feel tired anymore, an illusion due to the equivalent of adrenalin working its way through my system. I sat up, pulling the blanket closer around me as I did. I drew a deep breath, tasting the air; it was cold and fresh, smelling of pine and humus. The sky was still dark and the stars had vanished again, the clouds having taken over once more.

"I'm sorry," Edward repeated. "Just go back to sleep." He gently brushed his fingers through my tangled hair, then sat back against the trunk so he was facing away from me, sighing almost inaudibly.

"I miss her, too, you know," I said after a moment, knowing that sleep wouldn't come until the adrenalin had worn off. I knew he sometimes came here when I was gone to read that article of my mother's death. While that little grainy picture was no longer the only photograph I had of her, it seemed to have a special meaning for him which I hadn't yet been able to figure out. I just hoped that reading the article over and over again wasn't his way of punishing himself for leaving her because I knew he hadn't forgiven himself for that and probably never would.

He sighed again. "You're just as perceptive as your mother," he said quietly. He didn't speak of her very often but I guessed that not a second went by where she wasn't on his mind. Sometimes I'd catch him looking at me, his face full of pain and loss, and know he was thinking of her. But if I was keeping my secrets to myself, he was hiding what he truly felt though there was a certain degree of difficulty in that because of Jasper's gift to sense other people's emotions. He didn't want his family to worry.

Maybe that was the reason he was out here almost every night. Because that way he didn't have to come up with an excuse they might not believe, because that way he didn't have to hide his feelings.

"Very perceptive, indeed," Edward said. Right again. He turned his head a little, his eyes fixed on something over my head. I smiled, a sad smile, the kind of smile I didn't allow myself very often because I'd sworn to myself that I wouldn't mourn my mother anymore and instead be grateful for her sacrifice. That didn't keep me from feeling a sense of regret whenever I smelled at the ribbon I'd torn off her shirt before social services had taken me away though. For Edward it had to be even worse, because he had nothing left of my mother and I so much, memories at the very least, memories I wouldn't share with him, for they were private, almost intimate.

"If only I could see her one last time," he whispered sadly, "but I can't. I wish I could have gone to her funeral, but I didn't even know that she was dead. I thought I'd feel it somehow, but I didn't." He drew a ragged breath. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you. You need to sleep."

"I'm not tired just yet," I replied. "In fact, I'm hungry again so I might as well make the most of it. Do you want to join me?" I'd never asked him to accompany me; they'd always done so anyway whether I liked it or not, so this was a first.

Edward was well aware of that. "I'd love to," he said, his lips curving into a crooked smile as he rose to his feet.

"Alright." I grinned as I got up as well, stretched once which made the joints of my shoulders crack with a sound like a gunshot, then stepped off the branch. Edward followed, landing much more gracefully than I. That was another reason I didn't enjoy hunting when one of them was with me. I'd once thought that I was the world's most graceful, lethal predator, but one hunting trip with Alice had taught me better and left my ego rattled. Edward laughed as he picked that thought out of my mind, and I glanced over my shoulder to glare at him even as we ran swiftly through the night. Edward grinned and sped past me. I barrelled after him, cool air whipping into my face. I wanted to reach the herd first, but my chances were slim. Edward was faster than any of my other family members, including me, and I wasn't as fast as a vampire to begin with. Edward was waiting for me at the edge of the small, overgrown clearing the deer had picked for the night, a smirk on his face that made me want to slap him. I stalked past him, which seemed to amuse him anymore, and crouched down, as low to the dry ground as possible. Edward followed suit, but I didn't pay much attention to what he was doing, my eyes sweeping over the sleeping deer. It was only a small group, one male and three females. I'd killed at least two dozens of them over the past three and a half weeks and there couldn't be many left, so it probably wasn't a good idea to kill even more. Not if I wanted to have something to eat next spring.

"Elk?" Edward whispered into my ear, having crept closer without me noticing.

"Yes," I replied and we both retreated as silently as we'd come, the deer completely unaware of the danger they'd just been in. It took us a while to track the herd down and this time Edward followed my lead because I had a vague idea where they might be; I'd come across their scent a few days ago. Generally I preferred hunting with Edward over hunting with Alice because the latter never shut up, babbling on about whatever was on her mind that day. It wasn't distracting, it was just getting on my nerves like you wouldn't believe because I actually liked the quiet. Edward was a silent and swift as a ghost and he made me feel less like a child on the playground that was supervised by her parents in case she did anything stupid even though he was my parent.

"Alice doesn't think that you're … incapable of hunting," Edward said, clearly appalled by the idea. "That's not why we accompany you."

"I know," I said, "but that's what it feels like. You treat me like a child that doesn't know squat."

"Esme said as much when you got home."

"And?" Privately I didn't expect anything to come out of the conversation Esme had promised to have with them. After all I'd tried to get it into their heads what exactly my problem with being ridden herd on was so many times I'd lost count. I hadn't told her that because I was grateful that she'd offered, but nothing short of a miracle would make them see reason.

"And maybe she—and you—have a point," Edward admitted with evident reluctance. He sighed and stopped, running his hand through his hair. I did too, folding my hands loosely behind my back, trying not to get my hopes up. "We want to protect you, but I see now that we've been going about it wrong."

"I've been telling you that for weeks now," I replied, lifting an eyebrow. "What did Esme say to make you change your mind?"

"Well," Edward said with an almost sheepish smile, "pretty much the same you said to me this afternoon at school, that you're not a child and shouldn't be treated like one."

Wow. I thought I'd never hear him say that.

"I suppose it's natural, having difficulty accepting that your child is not a child anymore even though, in our case, I didn't even know you when you were younger." He sighed, then said, "I'll try, I promise. We all will, but you have to give us time."

"I think I can do that," I said slowly. "In that case I think I'll go back to school tomorrow, well, later I guess. Just one more thing."

Edward laughed and reached out to ruffle my hair, detaching a few golden leaves that had gotten caught in my curls. "Why I listened to Esme but not to you? Let's just say that Esme reminded me of all the times I complained about unsolicited parenting."

I snorted. I had no difficulty at all imagining how little my father would have liked that kind of thing. Laughing again at that, he moved past me because at that moment the wind, which had obviously decided to take the night off, picked up again, blowing the scent of that herd we'd been looking for directly towards us.


End file.
